Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
