dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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