I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
