And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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