I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
