you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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