I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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