whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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