someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
