i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
