I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
