I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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