This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
