under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
