yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
