Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
