I'm gonna have a badass scar
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
