Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
