Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
