matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
