After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
