So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
