They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
