I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
