Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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