the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
