I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
