I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize