i think my mom watched the whole time
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Even my vagina gasped.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
