Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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