Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I forgot how hot balto sounded
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I want a musical about memes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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