I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
