It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize