i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
