I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize