The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
