P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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