Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
