I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize