Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
