I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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