Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
