Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
