just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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