We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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