He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
