hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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