That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
