It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
