As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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