Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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