I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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