Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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