remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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