I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
