my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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