Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
