i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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