Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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