is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
