Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
