these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
