I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
